The Playboy Mansion

Some coach said to some team before some big game, "Act like you've been here before." Even with my jaded views on American culture, it was hard not being awestruck standing on the ground where many a teenaged boy's fantasies began-- The Playboy Mansion.

The event was a Safari Brunch Benefit celebrating the 30th Anniversary of The Wildlife WayStation. Among the celebs I saw there were Bill Maher, Jillian Barberie, Lou Ferrigno (in his Sheriff's uniform), Corey Feldman and Nicollette Sheridan. Monty Hall ran the live auction and for a moment I thought about bidding on a Gene Simmons autographed guitar (which finally went for $2,500). Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis, Jr. sang. It was like being in heaven except I'm pretty sure heaven doesn't have an open bar.

There were many animals there that were rescued by the Wildlife WayStation. A macaw, babboons, lots of different birds (and lots of piles of bird shit), a golden eagle, and some kind of yellow boa. For me, the most impressive was the 12 year old white tiger. This was as close as I wanted to get. I felt my clothes had the word "bait" written on it.

Oh yeah, Hef was there too. He was past me by the time I could pull out my camera. That's Holly walking next to him. He looks like a man who really enjoys his life. Unfortunately, this was a close as I could get to him as he always seemed to be surrounded by a crowd of cameras.

I got to visit the game room and saw the original Bally's Playboy pinball machine. There was a cool leather sofa, ash trays(!) and a pool table. The drink in my hand is a Bacardi and Coke (just enough Coke to give it color). I managed a peek into the adjacent guest rooms (ah, if only walls could speak).

What trip to the Playboy Mansion would be complete without a visit to the grotto? It was about a hundred degress in there. I'm cramped up against the side of the wall because there was a couple over on the other side making out. I didn't really want to disturb them. That round purple thing is not a lens flare but a floating ball.

And of course, the answer to the question you're all dying to ask: Yes, the portable toilets had their own air conditioning units.